5 Easy Steps to Accept Criticism

This is something that I struggle with. I’m excited to try out these steps in my journey.

MakeItUltra™

butterflyWritten by Eric C., MA., PhD Candidate (USA)

Founder of:MakeItUltra™

Website:MakeItUltraPsychology.com


“Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, but it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.” ~Dale Carnegie

My fiancé can’t stand the way I drive. I, of course, do not agree with her criticism and defend my driving skills as if I ama professional formula one driver. I am not special in regards to accepting criticism. No one likes to be criticized, but it is part of myexistence unless Ibecome a hermit who lives in a cave. In the current age where criticism is only a “Yelp” away, being able to accept criticism, whether it is fair or not is both necessary and vital for growth.

Here are five easy steps to accept criticism:

1. Don’t let a knee jerk reaction make a jerk out of you
Don’t be reactive. When criticized we may…

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Learning to Trust Yourself

“Just trust yourself, then you will know how to live” ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I want to share an experience with you that I had recently. It really struck me and has shed some light onto my heart song.

My current job requires me to be out in the wilderness 8 days out of 14 every week. It’s exhausting and disheartening, but also refreshing and enlightening. Each day and week brings a new set of challenges as I’m working with youth and surviving with minimal supplies.

Recently, I made the wonderful discovery of being able to create a hammock with the sleeping gear provided. It was amazing being able to sleep in the air rather than on the cold ground. And while learning how to create this ingenious little invention, I discovered something about myself.

While testing out my hammock for the first time, I was a little nervous to put my full weight onto it. I wasn’t sure if the knots were going to hold and I didn’t want to have the unpleasant experience of my face hitting the dirt.

Anyways, my co-worker sensed my uneasiness and told me to just trust the ropes. “They’ll hold.”

My immediate thought: “I trust the ropes. I just don’t trust myself with the ropes.”

It was like a light switch flickered on in my head. Why don’t I trust myself with the ropes?

Suddenly a long list of questions went through my head.

Why don’t I trust myself? Has this affected other areas in my life? If I can’t trust myself, does that mean I have a hard time trusting others?

Oh, it went on and on while I sat on my hammock. (Believe it or not, it did hold my weight on the first try :P).

And it just got me thinking, how do I learn how to trust myself better?

I’m still working on this one, but I do have a list that might be a good start for learning how to trust yourself better. If you have any suggestions on what I can do to trust myself, please comment!

Tip #1 for Learning How to Trust Yourself: Open Yourself up to Trusting Yourself

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It may seem a little redundant, but it could be that you don’t even know that you lack faith in yourself. I certainly didn’t until all those questions streamed through my mind.

It might be wise to take a few minutes and ask yourself if you do feel like you need to gain a little more trust in yourself. Who knows? Maybe asking that question will open the door to a new world of possibilities and positive change!

Tip #2: Be Kind to Yourself

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Look in the mirror right now. I mean it. Go and do it and tell yourself that you are an incredible and amazing human being. You have dazzling potential and you are worthy of trust.

We truly are our worst critics. If you can’t learn how to be kind to yourself, how can you ever expect to trust yourself? So do yourself a favor and be kind 🙂

Tip #3: Listen to your Heartsong

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Your intuition is a powerful thing. I feel like this quote goes well with this tip:

“Come from the heart, the true heart, not the head. When in doubt, choose the heart. This does not mean to deny your own experiences and that which you have empirically learned through the years. It means to trust yourself to integrate intuition and experience. There is a balance, a harmony to be nurtured, between the head and the heart. When the intuition rings clear and true, loving impulses are favored.” ~Brian L. Weiss.

Learn how to listen to the voice inside of you that is difficult to hear. Learn to listen to what you are feeling. Follow those crazy dreams of yours and reach for the impossible 🙂

Tip #4: Try New Things

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It’s scary to try something new. I was not excited to look like an idiot if my hammock broke. Especially because I’m supposed to be knowledgeable about those sorts of things in my job. But, I had to be willing to take the risk of looking stupid in order to learn the skill of making a hammock. (And boy, I’m so happy I did!)

Oftentimes it takes biting the bullet and diving into the murky water in order to lose whatever is holding us back. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it.

Tip #5: Don’t Give Up

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If you’ve failed in the past, there’s always a chance for a New Beginning. It takes a lot of scrapes and mess ups before a child learns how to ride a bike. The same goes for anything.

If you feel like you’ve done the unthinkable and can never trust yourself again, throw that thought away. Just crumple it up into a ball and throw it in the trash. Read Tip #2 over again and pick yourself back up.

You can do it 🙂

I hope that some of these tips help! I’ll definitely keep applying them as I learn how to trust myself more in the future.

Have an Amazing Day!

 

The Courage to say “I Forgive You”

I’m going to be honest with you. I had an experience two weeks ago that still hurts to think about. But I wanted to share it with you, because it taught me several valuable lessons. And I feel like some of our hardest lessons are the best teachers.

My first week at my job was, honestly, a form of hell. A lot of things happened that made me really angry. I was ticked off at the company, my manager, and just… everything.

I’m ashamed to admit it, but I aimed all of that anger and frustration towards one individual who least deserved my wrath. A friend who had been there in the worst of my struggles and had supported me when I needed it most. I blamed her for no reason at all, except my hurt pride.

In public, I slandered her name as well as vented my frustration about her to a couple coworkers. I thought I was being honest, but my actions were a portrayal of my need for justice.

Of course, she had no idea I had done such a thing and still considered me a friend.

Under the circumstances, I was completely justified for feeling angry. A lot had happened to me that week, but I started to feel a little dirty for the words I had used. My heart told me I needed to apologize in a public manner, but I lacked the courage to follow through.

In the end, my poisonous words found their mark.

I can’t express to you the shame I felt when that individual sat with me and asked who I had talked to and why I had done such a thing. I have no inkling of the pain it must have caused her to have found that a supposed friend had betrayed her trust. I only know that I had caused a lot of damage for no reason except my hurt pride.

Tears were shed and we talked it through. I felt horrible for my actions and wanted her to be angry with me. However, there were 3 words that she said that have stayed with me ever since.

“I forgive you.”

My friend had every right to be angry with me. She had every right to try and get me fired. She had no reason to trust or forgive me for my errors, but she did.

Has that ever happened to you?

It’s horrible to have to be forgiven, but receiving that kindness lifted a heavy burden off my shoulders. It taught me a few important lessons that I will always remember:

1. If you have a beef with someone, have the courage to talk to them about it.

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Don’t be a coward like me and ignore what you’re feeling. Don’t race to find allies to join your cause.

Talk to the individual.

If I had talked with my friend at the very beginning, I wouldn’t have caused so much conflict.

2. When somebody hurts you, have the courage to say “I Forgive You.”

 

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I was foolish for getting so angry. I was foolish for blaming my friend. I admire her so much for having the courage to say those 3 words. I know it wasn’t easy. And it definitely took a great deal of maturity to sit with me and listen with compassion instead of anger.

I want to be like that. That takes true courage and maturity.

3. There’s always room for New Beginnings

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I believe that within each individual is a seed of greatness. Although I had hurt my friend, she believed in my ability to change and seek restitution.

Since that incident, I have done all that I could to rectify those wrongs. It wasn’t easy. And it hurt. But it was what my heart told me to do.

It was the right thing to do and that’s what matters.

I don’t know the struggles you face. Maybe someone has caused you a great deal of pain or perhaps you have dealt someone a heavy blow.

Please, have the courage to follow your heart. Don’t make the same mistake I did. It’s not worth it. New beginnings are possible.

I firmly believe that and I believe in you!